Tuesday, July 12, 2011

A WWJD response: A Guide to Dealing with Jackholes

After reading the original version of the Idiots list, I thought that it is important to create a new version. As I personally find this particular list boring and contrite at this moment, it is important to actually address the REAL-LIFE JACKHOLES that unfortunately exist in our world. We cannot eliminate them with my zombie killing skills, because the law of the world must be in balance. Without them, our world would spin out of control, take us out of orbit, and likely become inhabited with zombies. Remember, we all need balance; the yin to the yang, the bad and the good.

So here is my WTF version of the Idiots list titled: A Guide to Dealing with Jackholes

A Guide to Dealing with Jackholes

JACKHOLES, the world is full of them. How hard it is for us, intelligent ones, to put up with them. But to get our jobs done, our kids fed, and our pets groomed, we must deal with them.

JACKHOLES come in many shapes, forms, and types, but the ones that frustrate me the most are those who are unconscious, unaware, and constantly behave as if they are two years old. We all know someone like this, the adult who does not have the skills to interact in the adult world and regularly reacts with childish antics and tantrums.

We must tune out the JACKHOLES to achieve any kind of sanity or serenity. But how? Here are four ways that have worked for me.

1. Expect nothing and practice the law of ignoring them.

Simply stated, ignore the ignorant, and JACKHOLES are ignorant. A quote from Sylvia Plath was referring to the JACKHOLES when she said, “If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”

2. As nice and giving as you may be, don't give them anything.

You true nature is to be kind and generous to people, however, JACKHOLES will suck you dry! In this case, JACKHOLES are like vampires, sucking you from your white light and energy. Whatever you say or do, they will use it against you. Why? Because that is what JACKHOLES do. So if you stop giving the JACKHOLES material or reason to bash you, they just might leave you alone. If you don't play the JACKHOLE game, their mere stupidity will drive them nuts and actually force them to self-combust. No need to fuel their fire!

3. Try some visualization.

This technique helps me with the JACKHOLES I have to see on a regular basis. Visualization essentially gives you some much-needed boundaries to protect yourself from the constant vampiric sucking they always do. You have to experiment to find the right kind of visualization for you. For example, you could visualize yourself in a bubble, where absolutely nothing can hurt you. It may just resemble the bubble boy scenario or maybe even BioDome (yes, the lame movie starring Pauly Shore just may have use in this exercise!). Or you can envision the JACKHOLES in the bubble. Whenever they try to launch their fangs into you, they cannot penetrate the protective bubble. My recent visualization is to imagine that the deemed JACKHOLES is made of stone. Why? Because I can throw the stone or drop it in a bucket of water and keep it there.

4. Don’t take it personally.

As I stated in #1, just ignore them and don't waste your time and energy. The JACKHOLE is the one with the problem, it really is not you. They are merely attempting to subject you to their stupid crap, don't fall for it and don't take it personally.

Now the following information is not satiric nor condescending in anyway, it is seriously legit!

Chapter three of Don Miguel Ruiz’s classic, “The Four Agreements”explains that we can become immune to hurt and rejection, really! He writes:

There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. You become immune to black magicians, and no spell can affect you regardless of how strong it may be. The whole world can gossip about you, and if you don’t take it personally you are immune. Someone can intentionally send emotional poison, and if you don’t take it personally, you will not eat it. When you don’t take the emotional poison, it becomes even worse in the sender, but not in you….As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.

There you have it! A Guide to Dealing with Jackholes!

Let me now just give credit where credit is due (thank you to the original author that has allowed me to re-create my list). If you are truly curious, the original can be found at the link below. But fare warning to your curious nature, you just may find it boring and lame.


  1. I love all 4 techniques and will continue to strive to utilize them to deal with these jackholes on a daily basis. Working with the public makes using these techniques a necessity to survival. Remember the recent story about the male airline attendant of many, many years who finally went ballistic and "gave back" the crap he was given by an unruly passenger? I loved that story. I worked at a place once where the manager suggested an imaginary button you could hit after dealing with one of these challenging people and it would eject them from our existence. What a wise manager that was, the only problem was all my co-workers were bruising their hands hitting the button with such frequency and vigor.
    My question to you is: we can do this on a personal level in our everyday dealings with people on the streets, in the stores, and other public places, but what do we do about politician Jackholes who are poised to become some of the most important people in the world? Clearly, not voting for them is the best option, but it seems as though the jackholes of society seem determined to elect jackholes in to office. What are we, the average joe on the street with common sense, supposed to do about this frightening scenario. Oh wise one, please tell me before it is too late and we have Jackholes in office sucking our life energy (and economic and social fairness) from us. It's getting ready to happen and I think we need to start rallying NOW. WWJD?

  2. RhedNiele,
    What a great question! I will agree with you first, I think that if you elect the jackhole into office, then you too will be called a jackhole. Isn't that part of Law of Cause and Effect? As for the political arena, if there is a collected effort by EVERYONE, then change can occur, but yet again, the fact that not everyone is as akamai as you and I. Jackholes create the balance in our world. Here are two solutions (but you may not agree to my solutions):
    1)Live in a cave, away from ALL JACKHOLES!
    2)Kicking rocks can be punishment for Jackholes or we can return to stoning.
    Do you have anymore suggestions?

  3. Send them to Texas where they seem to congregate.