The following is a condensed version of the real thing. This is seriously REAL!
A grown women calls 911 for help.
Stupid Lady: "I shit my pants and I don't know what to do!?"
911 Operator: "Really?"
SL: "HELP ME!"
Operator: "Where are you ma'am?"
Stupid Lady: "On my couch! What do I do!? What do I do?!'
Operator: "How do you know you crap your pants?" (With a slight snicker)
Stupid Lady: "I put my hand down my panties to check and it was wet."
WWJD? Go to the toilet!
WWJD? Jump in the shower!
Really people!?!?!? Use some common sense!
Get your fat ass off the couch and go clean yourself up!
(And to the dumbass lady, you may want to change your manicure and clean the shit out!)