Monday, July 18, 2011

Did you seriously just shit your pants?

The following is a condensed version of the real thing.  This is seriously REAL! 

A grown women calls 911 for help. 

Stupid Lady: "I shit my pants and I don't know what to do!?"

911 Operator: "Really?"


Operator: "Where are you ma'am?"

Stupid Lady: "On my couch! What do I do!? What do I do?!'

Operator: "How do you know you crap your pants?" (With a slight snicker)

Stupid Lady: "I put my hand down my panties to check and it was wet."


WWJD? Go to the toilet!

WWJD? Jump in the shower!

Really people!?!?!? Use some common sense!

Get your fat ass off the couch and go clean yourself up!

(And to the dumbass lady, you may want to change your manicure and clean the shit out!)


  1. Did the 911 operator get her name? Was it Michelle Bachmann or Sarah Palin? I only ask because they are used to the crap spilling out of their mouths, not their asses.

  2. Hey, I'm the lady that shit my pants. You have no idea how hard my life is. I had to let the butler go home early today and I had to use that dreadful Mercedes because the Bentley was broken down. Then I found out I won 30 million dollars playing the lotto and...well, I shit my pants. So don't tell me about how hard life is. :-)